Hurt, But Still In Love
by TheHappyOwl
Summary: But he slept with her," Gibbs said.   Slash: Gibbs/Tony


"Gibbs you need to calm down," Abby said as she stood in her lab. She watched as her boss paced around the lab. He let out a frustrated groan and rubbed a hand over his face.

"But he slept with her," Gibbs said. Abby could see the hurt that swam in his blue eyes. She knew how much Gibbs loved Tony, and before this she thought she knew how much Tony loved Gibbs. Now it seemed that her efforts to get the two men together had been forgotten. She now had to watch as one friend was swallowed by hurt and sadness while the other went off and played around. For as long as Abby had known Gibbs she knew he always kept his emotions to a minimum, if at ever showing them. However this relationship with Tony had taken things to a whole new level and she could see how shattered he was upon hearing this revelation.

"Oh, Gibbs..." Abby sighed as she walked over and pulled him into a bear hug. She kept her hold on the older man when he tried to pull away and so he gave in and let Abby have her way. Gibbs' back was to the door and Abby gasped when she saw Tony. Gibbs immediately broke free of the hug and turned around.

"I've been looking for you," Tony said to Gibbs quietly. Gibbs said nothing in reply, only stared at Tony. An awkward silence hung between them. After a moment Abby shifted feet and cleared her throat.

"You two need to talk about this," she stated.

"No we don't," Gibbs said dryly. He turned to Abby and pulled her into a hug, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "See you tomorrow,"

"Where are you going?" Abby asked.

"Home," Gibbs replied before pushing past Tony in the doorway and stepping into the elevator. He hit the button in the elevator with such force he thought he might have broken it. When he stepped out on the ground floor and made his way into the car park he felt the cold night air bite at his face. When he had discovered his feelings for Tony he was scared. Then Abby had informed him that Tony had very much the same feelings. He was elated when Abby and Ziva set them up on a date and Tony said yes to his offer of dating. Not long after they moved in together. Gibbs couldn't have been happier, everything was going perfect. That's when EJ Barret came back. Suddenly Tony's attitude changed. He started spending more late nights at work, refusing Gibbs' suggestions to go home together. Sometimes he wouldn't come home at all. Gibbs started to become curious and then worry overcame him. The last thing he wanted was to lose Tony, but with each passing day it seemed he would. Finally he confronted EJ. He asked what she and Tony had been up to, if they were sleeping together. Her answer was not straight forward but she implied that the answer was yes. So with a terrible feeling building up inside he'd gone to Abby.

Now he was walking through the front door and it felt as if the house had grown colder in the space of the working day. He felt crushed when he looked up and saw a picture of him and Tony hanging on the wall. Everything he looked at made him hurt. He went down into the basement. He knew he shouldn't be this hurt, but he was. He ran back upstairs and into the bedroom to get changed into more comfortable clothes, a pair of jeans and a grey jumper. Knowing he needed to take his mind off of everything he went back into the basement and began to do some wood work. It wasn't long before he heard the front door open and close. He knew what was coming next. He heard the sound of keys been thrown onto the coffee table in the living room, the newly acquired TV went on, footsteps sounded into the kitchen, the sound of a beer cap clattering on the bench, footsteps back into the living room and then the stairs creaking as Tony made his way into the basement. Tony didn't look up as he heard Tony came to the bottom step and sit down. When Gibbs did look to Tony he was taking a long skull of his beer, downing nearly half.

"Why?" was all Gibbs could say. Tony didn't need to ask what Gibbs was talking about, he knew all too well since he was the one in the wrong. Tony saw that no matter how hard Gibbs tried to mask the hurt on his face it still appeared, and he was trying damn hard.

"I don't know...I have no explanation," Tony said. He thought it would be better to be honest rather than trying to make up excuses and digging himself a deeper hole.

"Ok," Gibbs sighed. He put down the piece of wood he was holding and brushed his hand on his jeans. Then he walked past Tony and up stairs. Tony shook his head and stood up, making his way into the living room. He watched as Gibbs disappeared upstairs. Tony couldn't even finish his beer tonight so he tipped it down the sink and threw the bottle in the bin. As he went up the stairs he just wanted to crawl into bed and go to sleep. He went into the bathroom first. While he cleaned his teeth he half expected Gibbs to walk in like he normally would, but he didn't. Tony headed into the bedroom and found Gibbs was already in bed. Tony changed into his pyjamas, a pair of old sweat pants and a t-shirt. He slipped under the covers. On any other given day Gibbs would have rolled over and taken Tony into his arms, they'd talk a bit and sometimes they'd make love. After that they would give each other a goodnight kiss and whisper words of love to each other before drifting of in each other's arms. There was no indication that those events would be happening tonight. Tony slid over to Gibbs' side of the bed and wrapped his arms around the older man from behind. Gibbs' didn't move, didn't speak and it was starting to break Tony's heart.

"Jethro...I'm sorry," Tony whispered.

"Ok," Gibbs mumbled. Tony swallowed a lump that was appearing in his throat.

"Maybe I should sleep on the couch," Tony said. Gibbs didn't reply and so Tony took it as a sign. He slid from the bed and grabbed his pillows, snatched the woollen throw from the end of the bed and proceeded to move downstairs. After setting himself up on the couch he flicked off the light and snuggled under the woollen throw. It took a while but he eventually found a comfortable position and closed his eyes. He desperately wanted to hear the fourth step creak as Gibbs stepped downstairs but all he heard was silence. He hated this, he hated himself. He wished he could take everything back. He never wanted to hurt anyone, especially Gibbs. He loved the man, probably a bit too much, so why had he done it? It blew his mind, but his conclusion was he was an idiot. If he were to be honest he was a fucking, stupid, immature, idiot to do such a thing. Finally Tony could feel the dark cloud of sleep growing over him. He knew he was probably dreaming but he swore he could hear that fourth step creak and Gibbs saying his name. Dismissing it as reality he let the dream take him.

"Tony...I'm sorry...I know you are too...Please come back to bed, I miss you next to me..." Gibbs said. Something in Tony's mind clicked and he opened his eyes which were heavy with sleep. He saw Gibbs sitting on the edge of the couch next to him. He reach out and Gibbs took his hand, confirming it was, in fact, reality.

"I'm sorry..." Tony whimpered as he sat up. He flung his arms around Gibbs as tear began to build in his eyes.

"It's ok," Gibbs said before pulling Tony back and kissing him. He knew he should be slightly angrier with Tony but at the moment he couldn't find the energy to be angry. All he wanted to do right now was make up with Tony.

"I..." Tony started as he pulled from the kiss. Gibbs pressed a finger to his lips, silencing the younger man.

"Don't..." Gibbs whispered before kissing Tony again. Soon he couldn't resist running his hands along Tony's thighs, bypassing his crotch and slipping them under his shirt. Tony groaned into the kiss as Gibbs ran his hands across his chest. As the continued their kiss they stumbled back up the stairs to the bedroom. As the night went on they made passionate love, knowing things would be easier to sort in the morning.

XxENDxX


End file.
